5 reasons why I hate you while I'm in a car

Well it been almost a week since our last post so here I go. A list of why I hate you while driving.

1. Use your Goddamn turn signal.
And no, I don't mean during the turn. I mean signal your goddamn turn. If I knew you were turning into the lot I'm turning out of, I could have gone already. And if there are two unmarked lanes at a red light, signal your turn before you stop. The left last is also the fast lane. I don't want to figure out two seconds after stopping that you're going left when I could have gone in the right lane. Go die. On fire. In a well.

2. I was five car lengths ahead of you. Stop being a jackass.
You weren't going that fast when I started turning into your lane. Don't pretend like I cutting you off. Why the hell do you need a SUV in suburban tri-sate area anyway!?! Its a car for sporting not to make you feel safer for when you inevitably hit someone else because you suck at driving! Go die. On fire. In a well.

3. If you're a dumbass... don't you honk at me.
The light turned green. I was on the opposite side of the light from you. I WAS GOING FUCKING STRAIGHT! YOU WERE TURNING LEFT! You do not almost crash into me and then honk at me like I did something. Go die. On fire. In a well.

4. Snooty Bikers.
I'm going back into the parking lot because my vehicle is an obstruction while you are biking on the sidewalk. I was waiting to make a turn for quite a while before you stopped and quite audibly, "Really?"-ed. I do not regret my statement of your ass being mediocre at best. You were a bitch. Go die. On fire. In a well.

5. I'm doing 45 in a 25. I'm going fast enough.
I'm in a bright red car. I'm already speeding. I'm not getting a ticket for doing 90mph in front of a school just so you can pick up Jeffy 5 minutes earlier from soccer practice. Maybe if you left five minutes earlier instead of telling your daughter she'll never be pretty (I can only assuming that's how your life goes after watching you freak out in my rear view mirror). Go die. On fire. In a well.