5 Reason Why I Hate You While I'm In A Supermarket

And for future reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defenestration

1. Do NOT pick a cart, and then bottleneck the entrance.
If you are not prepared to enter the supermarket, DON'T! By stopping and adjusting your coat or scarf or whatever, you are making me wait behind you. I can almost guarantee you can do whatever the hell you are doing while walking. At least move your cart so your fat ass is out of the way! Go defenestrate yourself.

2. Don't block an aisle.
If you have to stop your cart in an aisle to get something, make sure its not next to another cart. Seriously. The aisle is only about two and a half carts wide. Stop being such a dick. I know you knew I was there. I made a lot of noise. An shelf stock worker... I'M GODDAMN GIVING YOU MONEY!!! YOU BETTER MOVE YOUR DAMN CART! Go defenestrate yourself.

3. Once again, DON'T BLOCK THE AISLE!!!
Yeah its just you an me, but is there any reason you have to stand next to the cart instead of behind or infront of it. See number two for the rest of this rant. Go defenestrate yourself.

4. When/if I get you to move, don't be a dick about it.
Ooooh nooooooo. You had you perform a common courtesy. Woe is you. Don't roll your goddamn eyes at me because I want to get through the aisle. Yeah I'm gonaa bump into your cart while getting past you! What are you gonna do about it!?!? NOTHING!?!?! THATS RIGHT!!!! Go defenestrate yourself.

5. Old people...
...how is it no matter what day of the week I go, its old people day? HOW DO YOU DO THIS?!?!?! WHY DO YOU TORTURE ME WITH YOUR SLOW MOVEMENT AND NEED TO STAND RIGHT WHERE I WANT TO GO!?!?!?! Go defenestrate yourselves... except the cool old people. You know who you are.